I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
