there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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