Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
