Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
