You made me cry and you don't even care
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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