When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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