yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
