he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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