I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
