if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
