i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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