Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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