he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
