You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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