People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
