Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
