Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
