Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
