Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
