no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
