garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize