It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
