I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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