At least make sure they are 18
Why
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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