So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize