Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  needless to say I left

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  (203): I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard. (203): needless to say I left http://tfl.nu/ueme
  Replies (15) Good night (749) Bad night (2951)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.

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  (917): we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer. http://tfl.nu/ibyr
  Replies (20) Good night (3665) Bad night (1494)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He is like the real live version of the state fair..

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  (501): He is like the real live version of the state fair.. http://tfl.nu/cptf
  Replies (16) Good night (744) Bad night (2747)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.

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  (219): So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on. http://tfl.nu/rrpe
  Replies (9) Good night (4128) Bad night (661)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.

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  (214): If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice. http://tfl.nu/19fo
  Replies (6) Good night (3327) Bad night (828)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.

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  (219): she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade. http://tfl.nu/8ipj
  Replies (11) Good night (3359) Bad night (1434)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.

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  (904): I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana. http://tfl.nu/xfg3
  Replies (16) Good night (3195) Bad night (1440)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.

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  (786): And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xlfm
  Replies (3) Good night (3138) Bad night (910)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"

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  (804): she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart" http://tfl.nu/96tn
  Replies (5) Good night (2917) Bad night (1029)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips

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  (217): I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips http://tfl.nu/378x
  Replies (4) Good night (1247) Bad night (680)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?

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  (403): You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something? http://tfl.nu/hj44
  Replies (17) Good night (4625) Bad night (1215)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.

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  (336): I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale. http://tfl.nu/9c1d
  Replies (19) Good night (4199) Bad night (839)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?

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  (260): If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok? http://tfl.nu/erl3
  Replies (3) Good night (1454) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive

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  (704): His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be. (336): You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver. (704): Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive http://tfl.nu/8bf5
  Replies (7) Good night (1321) Bad night (486)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".

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  (254): You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist". http://tfl.nu/nem1
  Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (227)

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