so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
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I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back