I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
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There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.