I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
