But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
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This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
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Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids