ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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