there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
