The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
