Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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