The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
