my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
