Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
