You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
FUCK WHALES
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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