I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
