her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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