No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
