How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have already put on my inside pants.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
