Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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