It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
