FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize