Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
