He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
