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he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
