She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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