4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
