meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize