You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
