Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
