Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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