My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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