Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize