Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
