I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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