you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
