all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have feelings that need drinking.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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