either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
