So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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