dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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