I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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