First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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