I wish I could teleport
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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