in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
